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Time

The grief will lessen with the passage of time.That's all I know.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I am very sorry for your loss. Death is all around us and I have had to endure far too much. Mother, sister, two best friends, various other friends and colleagues, have all died in the last few years. At times I almost felt like turning to religion as a comfort from the pain. The warmly inclusive idea of meeting up again in heaven is very attractive, and sometimes I've even been envious of the way that Christian people around me are able to soften the blow of death with the thought of eternal life hereafter. I have sometimes wondered whether our consciousness survives in some way or another - I'd like to think it does. But the reality is that I am an atheist and there is no evidence for an afterlife. So I have to accept that when we die, that's it. It's harsh and it's not easy to accept, but time is a great healer and the pain eventually fades away. In time you will start to remember your father for the way he lived, not for how he died. We seem to be endowed with a selective memory process which forgets the bad and can only remember the good. Don't try to hold back the tears, or try to be brave or strong. You have suffered a profound trauma which needs to be released. Best wishes and good luck.

I'm sorry for your loss. As an agnostic myself, I wish I knew what to tell you. The fact that it's sudden and unexpected must make it harder.

My most recent experiences have been with relatives who were ill for a long time. When my grandmother died last year at 92, she'd been very sick for a long time, and the person she was died long before her body did. While I took some comfort in the fact that her suffering had ended, the grief I felt was that a piece of my history was gone. My aunt died earlier this year of cancer; my solace is that she did not suffer too long.

One thing I heard was that when we die, we go into the hearts and minds (metaphorically speaking) of those who loved us. You still have your memories of your father (and I hope they are mostly good). You know that a lot of people cared about him or cared about his family that they showed up to the funeral.

You can always hope that there is something after death--if not necessarily heaven--and that if there is, you'll be reunited with your loved ones. Yes, it's pretending, but if it brings you a bit of solace, there's nothing wrong with that.

Take care.

A few years ago, my best friend was killed in Afghanistan. He was 24 and i was 21. He was like a an older brother. It hurts knowing I'll never see him again and sucked a lot when it happened. I'm better now as it was almost 5 years ago. Time heals all wounds is a very true saying.

In all likelood death is the end, but no one really knows. One thing I do know though is that my friend Chris and your dad wouldn't want either one of us to be sad on their account. They would want us to "drink water and walk it off" as they say in the military. They would want us to be happy and have amazing lives. So don't do him a disservice by being depressed. Every time it hurts just think of how he would want you to be happy.

Death is the end for any life. No one can escape death. Unfortunately it takes some of us when we least expect it, and it puts a heavy burden on the family. Dealing with the loss of friends or family is never easy, and there's no one way to handle it.

I was very close to my grandmother and she passed away over a year ago. It was very hard to accept because it too was unexpected. She was much older than your father, but she was only in the hospital for what we expected to be a routine knee surgery. Unfortunately, it didn't work out that way. It was sad for all of us, and she had several hundred people attend her service.

My uncle and I talked about this specific issue that night. We really hope for an afterlife, not for ourselves, but for those we love. And this hope is kinda selfish. We miss that person and we want more time with them, and I am not trying to say there's anything wrong with it. It's our human nature.

Then my uncle brought something to my attention that really broke me down. My uncle was my grandma's favorite,... then me... and then my son. That made it hurt a little more, knowing me and my son had been her favorites but were not able to spend more time with her.

But at the same time we must realize, these special people live on through us. They have helped shape us into who we are, we share their blood. We have memories of them and most likely have something about you that will remind others of your father, and in that way he lives on.

> How do you come to accept such a senseless tragedy without the hope that some religious people have?

Most of us don't feel like we had a choice about our disbelief in god(s). It still hurts something awful when someone close to us dies, but that is true of everyone regardless of their beliefs. Here's hoping that time heals for you.

My dad died about 5 years ago. He was my best friend, and a terrific dad, and I miss him very much.

However, I personally just don't see how pretending that I would "see him again," when I KNOW that's not ever going to happen, can provide any "hope" or "comfort." To me it's like simply making things up and pretending they're real. If I tried to ignore the fact that my Toyota Minivan is a Toyota Minivan, and instead pretend it's a Ferrari, no amount of pretending will change the reality that it's a Toyota Minivan. No matter how desperately I want it to be a Ferrari. Same thing here.

It's enough for me that I had lots of good years with my dad, that he taught me a lot, and that his life mattered to me, to my kids, and to many others. Yes, I'm sad he's no longer alive, and I miss him -- but everybody dies, and pretending otherwise won't change that. So remember the good times you had with him, and move on.

Peace.

You carry the memory of your father with you, and will for the rest of your life. Grief over the death of a loved one can be hard to handle, especially if you were very close to them. Probably the best way I've dealt with it is to remember the good times that were had, mourn the loss, remind myself that life will continue on in their absence, and remind myself that more good times will be had. Be thankful to him for the positive impact he had on your life and know that every day you are really carrying a part of him with you. Who you are is in some way a direct result of his influence on your life. Because of this something from him will always be with you for the rest of your life.

Just be sure you allow yourself enough time to really process all the emotions of this event. It takes time to process events like this that can overwhelm you with a lot of emotions. It sounds like your dad had a really good life. You can be happy for him that his life was full and wonderful while he was here.

Your father is alive in the hearts and memories of everyone he affected during his life. Every time you remember something he taught you, every time you remember things he did, every time his past kindnesses continue to have an effect on you, he is still with you. If you want to honor his memory, do something that he would have wanted you to do. Finish something he didn't get to finish. Care about the people he cared about. As long as his influence continues to guide you, he is still part of your life. I'm sure he gave you many things - not material things, but life lessons, maybe your sense of humor or your love of certain music or books. Those things are still part of you, which means that he's still part of you.

You don't have to believe that you'll see him again in heaven to see all the ways in which he is still part of your life.

I'm sorry for your loss.

It's going to hurt terribly for a while, but it will get easier with time. You've shown your strength already, by trying to deal with the reality of death, rather than sugar coating it with a bunch of nonsense fairytales.

I, for one, am glad that heaven doesn't exist. Imagine if it was like they tell us, and your father was still able to see you, but never again to have any kind of meaningful contact with you? As a father myself, to me that would be a kind of hell.

I certainly have a brilliant relationship with my father and he even concurs with a lot of my comments of religion and he supported my selection to formally illness from the Catholic Church. If all of us is morally wicked it is the theists, as their faiths do no longer teach genuine morals, they bear concern methods. something of which you declare is basically mendacity by using your tooth. there is no such element via fact the illuminati. Then why are you attacking reason at its middle? Or are you in basic terms troling for Jeebus?