Short version:
I betrayed my boyfriend and he doesn't trust me now. What are some things I can do to show him I really care about him and I'm so sorry? He doesn't want to talk or see me now. He broke up with me too, though he says "i'm his one and only" and he still loves me, he just can't be with me because there's no trust. He says he doesn't want another relationship if its not with me. How can I prove how sorry I am and how can I begin building his trust again?
Long version:
My boyfriend has beef with this guy, "G". Me and G are acquaintances, mostly because G is friends with my best friend. However, a long time ago I promised my boyfriend I'd never talk or see G again. Now, I don't really believe in that trivial bullshit. I felt like because G had done nothing to me I shouldn't have to evict him from my life. But I promised it, to make boyfriend happy.
The other day I was with my best friend, and G came to hangout with us at the mall. This was only the second time I'd met up with G in person, and the first time after I made that promise. And then we ran into my boyfriend. I would have told him we were hanging out with G, but my phone was dead.
I hugged him and he didn't hug back and he said "we needa talk." So at my best friend's house I texted him and he said we were done.
I tried talking to him. I apologized and said I loved him and said I needed him and he only reacted so cold to me saying he didn't believe me, because he can't trust me anymore. He acted like I cheated on him with G. He kept asking me to stop talking to him. He kept telling me to leave him alone or he'd block my number, but I couldn't :( he's my everything. I just kept trying and trying to make him not end our relationship. We were almost at 2 years. I was desperate to make him realize how much of a mistake it all was but he just kept being so rude and mean.
If my sister hadn't texted him to see whatsup, I would have thought he hated me. But he told my sister that I was his one and only, and that he didn't want another relationship if it wasn't with me. And that if I moved on, he'd be destroyed.
Obviously he's very, very upset with me but still has deep feelings for me :( He told my sister he's not sure if he can be with me again and that time will tell. He says things like "IF I stay single" meaning there's still a part of him that wants to be with me.
I don't know what to do. He won't come see me in person and right now he's ignoring me and I've stopped trying to talk to him. My sister said to give him a few days to cool down, because he told her he's not made, just very sad and betrayed, and then to text him again.
I don't know how to handle this :( I'm so torn up. We honestly had such a great relationship, something out of the movies. We've been together almost 2 years and we were always as cuddly and in love as we were when we started dating. We fought a lot, but always got through it.
So my question is, after reading my life story, what's the best approach to fixing this? To proving how sorry I am, and to start getting trust back? Or should I just move on?
Thank you if you read all of that it means a lot to me :(
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Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Well, first I want to say that I'm so sorry and I hope you are doing ok. Your sister is right about giving him a few days though, give him some time to think about what happened and to think about anything that he needs to. The best way to go about fixing it, is talking to him after giving him some time. Think about what you really want to say to him and how sorry you really are. now the fighting all the time doesn't help the situation because that makes things tense in general but like you said, you always get through it. And 2 years? That's a long time for him to act this way. Now I partially understand what his thought process is. In his mind you broke your promise (which is true) not to talk or see him again, so he naturally thinks of how many times before that did you see him or talk to him? Now I do agree that he is over-reacting to this whole thing since you were just hanging out with him and friends, but still. A promise was a promise. And don't move on, it's clear how much you two care about eachother and if you wanted to move on, you wouldn't have posted this question looking for answers. But give him time, then talk it out with him and explain your side and tell him how sorry you are and that you will prove to him (however you can) that he can trust you.