My partner and I had our biggest argument during a stressful time. Since that night he says he doesn't feel the same passion for me. He still loves me and cares about me more than anyone else and finds me sexy, but the little passionate things have gone...ie. loving kisses and cuddles, pet names, bum pinches, nice messages and words...And it all changed overnight! Can this happen? Does it mean that we are over? Can it be fixed...and if so, how?
(We have been together for 4 years and run 2 companies together. We plan/ned to marry next year. Our day-to-day life is reasonably stressful, but we still laugh and get along like best friends...But the things that make us a loving couple haven't been the same since that night)...Can anything be done to get it back to how it was before the argument?
Update:My partner & I had our biggest argument during a stressful time. Since that night he says he doesn't feel the same passion for me. He still loves me & cares about me more than anyone else & finds me sexy, but the little passionate things have gone.ie. loving kisses & cuddles, pet names, bum pinches, nice messages & words, & it all changed overnight! We both want to fix it...but, how?
We have been together for 4 years & known each other 28. Our day-to-day life is reasonably stressful, but we still laugh and get along like best friends...But the things that make us a loving couple haven't been the same since that night...Can anything be done to get it back to how it was before the argument?
Extra Info: It was his reaction to the argument that has made him lose the passion. We RARELY argue & he became very, very angry, admitting later he visualised hurting me .He was upset with himself & me. I've appologised & we've talked.
We both want to fix this, but we don't know how. Suggestions?
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
It might not exactly die overnight, but there can be a breaking point or "last straw." Can it come back, sure - but both of you will have to be open to it coming back and work hard on it. If one or both of you think it won't happen you will have a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Wait. Give time for the hurt to heal. Give time for the trust to rebuild.
In general, you can never go back, but you can go forward to a common goal if you talk about it. Of all the people in the world you two are probably the most likely to make each other happy. It's worth the wait. It's worth initiating the talking. It' s worth taking the rejection. Love does not proceed at the same speed as business. It's slower, more rhythmic.
As business people you don't have time to take vacations and slow down. During the slow season of your business take three or four days off together. The first day is to sleep. The second day is to decompress. The third and fourth days are for romance.
Apparently your partner was living a fantasy of what your relationship was built on. I could be wrong but it seems that he thought that you were not opinionated when it comes to him, and that what ever disagreement you would have, in the end you would always allow him to be the victor.
Reality was brought into perspective when you had this big argument and his position of control was crushed. I don't know if you verbally disrespected him (from his perspective or yours) but something obviously was said that probably cant be reversed.
So unless he realizes that you have feelings as strong as his and have the right to express those feelings ... no ...it will never be the same.
It seems that his passion was based on this and this alone.
I would think it's unlikely that you could lose the passion overnight. Unless it's something that's been culminating for a long time, and he's using that argument as an excuse.
It is so hard to be in a relationship that has no passion. I speak from experience. It went because of my partner's depression.
You need to talk to your partner and find out where you stand.
Yes, stop arguing so much and/or choose the words, and your tone of voice wisely next time you argue.
If you're being B!tchy that will turn a guy off and make him think "Am I dating a child?"! If he's truly that angry at you, you must have said something very hurtful, offensive or maybe you argue so often he's rethinking the relationship and doesn't know if he wants to be with you! I would advise you to apologize!
Yes
It all depends on the argument,with out knowing the details of the argument it`s impossible to say.
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yes , i think so . maybe your partner is just stressed and after the fight dosent trust himself or you to understand , maybe he thinks it will provoke one more fight . why dont you talk to him about this ? maybe that will help . and passion does not die so easily by one fight . maybe you said something to hurt him and he is just being angry ? who know s there are lots of possibilities . talk to him .
What the heck did you say to him? If it was so hurtful that he lost his passion for you then I say wave bye bye. That ship has sailed along with your pending marriage.