I asked this question earlier on my friends account but I see now that it is later some of the more active (and opinionated) participants of Y!A are out tonight, so I am going to ask again!
I am 7.5 months pregnant with our first boy (we have two girls). Circumcision was never something I considered I just always thought it was normal to do it. After frequenting Y!A and seeing the major debates I decided to do some Research. Well after my research I have decided that I am against circumcision for various reasons.
I shared this information with my husband and he told me to ask the pediatrician. Well, I did ask the pediatrician and basically he did not give me an medical reason to have it done all he said was that it's harder to have it done when the person is older (which I disagree with because at least an adult gets put to sleep) and he said that if he had a son he would do it because that is the culture (which again I disagree with). Anyway, because the pediatrician says he would do it my husband is like , "well let's do it and have it done and over with'.
I have asked him to take into deeper consideration the research I have done and even look at a video online so he can see what REALLY happens to the baby and how painful it is. Needless to say he won't. He won't even get a vasectomy yet somehow its perfectly acceptable to do this to our newborn?
I don't get it. But anyway, my Original thought was to let my husband make the final decision seeing as how HE is the one with the penis and knows more about it then I do. But I just feel really uneasy about the whole thing.
So the question is.... do I let him make the final decision? Should I keep pushing my Research and feelings? How do we come to an agreement and when the baby is born if we still don't agree who should make the final call?
Please don't say the baby is the tie breaker because apparently this child is unborn and cannot make his own vote which is why as parents we are supposed to be deciding what is best for him.
Update:personally I would love to let my son make this decision when he is older. the PROBLEM is that my husband disagrees. How do my husband and I come to an agreement?
I WANT to let my son decide when he is older... my husband wants it done... we disagree.... how do we come to an agreement?
Update 3:you know Beery if you don't like answering the question again then don't. as a matter of fact this question has different wording and MORE emphaisis on HOW DO WE RESOLVE THIS BETWEEN US (as in my husband and I)? so technically it's not the same exact question so next time don't bother.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
i think you should get it over with, because as an adult, it'll be harder to do, and it'll help prevent bacteria build up or trouble around that area when he grows to be a child, because we must admit little boys aren't the most attentive when it comes to hygeine.
if your husband says so, then yes. Him being the male, he sees it out his own eyes, he can relate because he's a male, and so is your son.
if you still don;t want this, just try pushing more facts in his face, if he doesn't back down, than just do it. its a male thing i guess
Not sure why you can't just leave the original question standing. Reposting the same question is against YA rules. Since the question is here (again) and since this question might be read by others in your situation (i.e. it's not all about you), I have to answer the same as before so that others have the same access to my answer...
The pediatrician has a vested interest - he can make money off it. Even so, I'm surprised that a doctor would advocate this procedure - the medical community has known for 60 years that circumcision is a useless and severely damaging procedure. This is the 21st Century, not the 19th, and this abusive practice has to stop somewhere. You're on the front lines and you need to take a stand to protect your baby. Do not give up your responsibility to protect him. If you can't even keep him protected during his first week, how on Earth are you going to have what it takes to protect him for the next 18 years.
Also, sorry, but your husband is an idiot. 'Just do it and so it will be done with'? Is he even serious? This is not a mandatory procedure - in fact hardly anyone does it anymore because most people know how awfully harmful it is. Are you really going to give up your baby's penis to the care of an idiot, simply because the idiot also has a penis? The fact that he has a penis doesn't mean that you don't have a brain. You used the brain to find out that circumcision was damaging, but now you're going to put it away simply because your husband is packing dick? What use is all that research you did if you're going to fold at the first hurdle? What use is having a brain if you waste it on researching information you're never going to bother to use to save your son's health.
If your baby wants to be circumcised, he can have it done later. I mean, what's the rush? It's not as if circumcision has any benefits - it's a useless and damaging mutilation that leaves the penis semi-functional and prone to disease This is a cosmetic procedure that's done to babies with no anesthetic - and babies do feel pain. Older kids and adults get anesthetic. Leave the decision to the person whose penis it is. It shouldn't be anyone else's decision.
do no longer do it...that is barbaric and exceptionally a lot mutilation for incredibly no reason. in case you incredibly do examine, you will locate that there is not any want for a new child to be circumcised. It does not decrease down on hazards for UTI's, STD's, etc. and it DOES influence soft nerve endings. Circumcision is a North American phenomenon. someplace else contained in the worldwide, that is extremely not often achieved (80% of the worldwide is UNCUT)...there's a reason now circumcision is considered a splendor technique and not a medical one. i'm able to't circumcise my sons - in the event that they want a decrease penis, they could have it achieved while they're sufficiently old to return to a determination. yet I actual do no longer purchase into the "that is cleanser, seems greater constructive" rubbish that people spew, nor do i think of boys would be teased contained in the locker room in the event that they are no longer decrease. that is already transforming into the norm even in North usa to no longer get decrease, and in yet another 10-20 years, no one would be doing it. the only time i'm for it is whether or no longer it is for non secular reasons or incredibly mandatory medical reasons. EDIT: much less stressful to maintain? Lol...it is the laziest factor I unquestionably have ever heard.
i have seen stuff on TV about this debate, an older guy was really upset with his parents for getting it because he felt that it was his decision on weather he wanted it or not, (even though he was a newborn at the time it was done) and now that he was older, he never really wanted it. my advice/opinion in this case, and that is all it is, is an opinion, is dont have it done, and when the baby is old enough to consiously make this decision, leave it up to him, if he wants it or not. if he doesnt, thats fine, if he does, thats fine. yes, it may be a little more to take care of if you choose not to do (cleaning and such) but at this point, you wont have everyone on your back saying you took that right away from him by "choosing" for him, he can make that decision on his own. granted, babies heal a lot faster but with proper care when he's older, it will heal just fine.
I'm not suggesting this as the baby being a tie breaker because before i found out my daughter was a girl, i did some research also on this, and theres bee a lot of debate about people saying that parents took the choice away from the child and it wasnt theirs to make in the first place, so I guess im saying its not a tie breaker, merely something left up to the baby to make when he is old enough to make this kind of decision, when he can understand what is fully going on, thats all. :-)
i hope this helps you :-)
My husband was circumcised (1952) so when we had a son (1977), he was circumcised. I thought that is just what was done. I have read more about it and am still undecided. My FIL was circumcised when he was 50, not sure why but it was very painful at that age. I guess I'm no help.
So your husband must be circumcised? I can hear your son say "Why don't I look like daddy?"
Yes Keep Pushing your reasearch and feelings But i believe in this situation You should let your baby boy decied when he's older for him self.
According to the midwives, BTW my sister in law had both of her babies through the assistance of a midwife, DON'T FIX SOMETHING THAT ISN'T BROKEN. your baby is already this way so why change him. My nephew didn't get one and he's perfectly fine. The only thing I've heard is that you just clean it differently.