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I remember the pain....all to well. My Dr allowed me to get my epidural when I wanted, so as soon as I got there and they got strong they were trying to start it. With my first, mine didn't take, and I was miserable, so ask your Dr what their opinion is. My daughter is 2 and my son is 5 weeks, and his was much easier than hers, once they got my epidural started and working, fair waring though, it can run out, so watch it, because waiting for the Dr to come and give you more is horrid! It seemd to take him forever to get there.

Labor feels like menstral cramps until your water breaks. You might want to take a child birthing class so you can see the videos of woman going through labor. To be 60's, its a really far out experince. Read the book Spiritual Midwifery. Your brain kind of dulls and you go inside your mind during labor. Its difficult to explain it, but its really cool. Kind of like doing a drug.(I guess that would be the endorphens) Practice meditation too, its good for you and your baby. As soon as your dialated to a 4 you can get an epidural, but you can't walk after that (enless you get a walking epidural, which is like a half epidural) so your labor could stall, they could end up having to give you drugs to make your labor start up and then your pains would be really bad. Since its your first baby your more likely to have a long labor, which would be made longer by an epidural, and your also more likely to have a c-section. The funny thing is, labor isn't that painful, its the birth that hurts! Or I should say burns. Course if your water breaks right away the cramps will hurt worse and you'll feel relief from the pain once its time to push.

All in all, its nothing you can't handle. Just try to relax and change your view about birth. If your all freaked out when it happens, its going to be a horrible tramatic experince. But if your calm and know what your getting into (birthing class) then you'll go into and out of it like a pro and with a wonderful new little one to feed and change.

Your fear is very normal and a lot of women have fear of delivery. With my first child the nurses encouraged me to get the epidural when I was about 5 cm. If I remember correctly it was about 5 hours after I went into labor. The first 4 hours were not unbearable but by hour 5 the contractions were really close together. With my second child I received my epidural within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital and that was because they needed to take my son by c-section. Unless your contractions are really far apart most places will give you an epidural pretty much any time so long as your labor is progressing well and you are dialating at a good rate. Good luck and remember the baby is what you remember not the labor, otherwise we wouldn't do it a second, third, fourth time. Chin up.

I think that for the first child the pain seems worst because you build up for that. You don't know what to expect and you hear all of the horror stories, so naturally you think it will be the worst.

I have had natural child birth and one with epidural. I got the epidural when I had my frist child. I was dialated like 6cm from what I remember. The pains were coming hard when I did have contractions and I was begging for it but I was afraid of needles and didn't like the idea of getting one in the back.

Also, I was more ready just to have the baby and to eat because once labor starts they won't let you eat any solids. Only Jello and Ice. To tell you the truth I still felt some pain after the epidural. I don't know if they didn't crank it up enough or what but I felt some pain.

Anyway...I could write a childbirth book...lol. The first experience was scary and painful but after that I was popping my kids out with ease. Labor was shorter after the first one and yes it did hurt but I knew what to expect, so I just breath through them and once I hit 6cmm, the other 4 came really quick and out came baby. I look back and for me I don't think that the contractions were that scary. They were just badddd cramps. I think that I was more afraid of what it would feel like when they baby started to come out but looking back it wasn't that bad...even when I did it natural.....or maybe that's just the memory lapse. lol.

Don't be scared...It will hurt but you forget the pain almost instantly and the day or two in the hospital you will be a little sore but not bad. Plus, everyone will be making a big fuss over you and the baby so you will forget all about the discomfort.

Just prepare yourself but don't SCARE yourself to death. Yes it will hurt, that's reality but just tell yourself I will endure that pain as long as I can, it won't be that bad I just want to see my baby's face. And when the pain hit's just keep saying..."it's almost over" ...Having natural birth is the best feeling in the world. No one can tell me that I am not superwoman. That event qualifies me as a superwoman. lol.

You'll do fine!!!

P.S. - If you have to ask for the epidural don't feel bad, you will do the best that you can, and you are not the first or the last. Okay Sweetie.

Best wishes for a speedy healthy delivery.

being scared of labour is natural, but not nearly as bad as you are scaring yourself into believing.

personally, I wouldn't recommend an epidural at all. I had one, my first time and unless they get the exact right spot it doesn't work. In order to give you the needle it is essential they do it WHILE you are having a contraction, and they expect you to keep perfectly still. The other thing I was never told was that I had to have a catheda for a couple of days afterward, which was really uncomfortable, and because of it they didn't want be to get off the bed.

So while my epidural didn't work, on an induced labour I survived on gas. And that was fine.

My second labour was natural, and i would seriously recommend it to everyone. Seriously. You build up to the pain, so when the pain is mild try and have a bath, it helped me (just enough to take the edge off). But it was not as bad as being induced, and the bonus was I could have the labour the way I wanted. 1/2 an hour after the labour, I had a light meal, could walk around, have a shower, cuddle and bath the baby...and felt fine.

You will be fine, our bodies are made for this. and think of the reward at the end.

congrats, in advance

My doc told me I had until I was 5cm to get it done. I fell asleep cuz I was so tired from labor and woke up at 4.5 and was ringing my nurse because I knew I couldn't do the rest without the epidural. I say that the epidural isn't the cowards way out .... I think it helped me enjoy the birth and be aware of everything going on. Good luck with the new baby. And dont freak out .... anxiety actually is what tends to make labor worse. Labor is a natural thing and you'll be fine and have this amazing little being that will be worth all you have gone through.

we'll you know everyone can tell you how it was for them but it will not be the same for you. Every pregnancy and labor is different .EVERY just like every child is differnet.

Yes it hurts and it takes a long time that is why it is called labor. I had 2 c-sections was 2 weeks late with both and induced with one. They were horrible and could prob make a good use birth control video. ( But I have been with weomen who you would have never known they were in labor hardly any pain and this was natural ) anyhow usually they will not give you a epidual until you are 4 centimeters. You don't want them too early. Usually they have other drugs you can take like stadol they shoot that right up in your IV. The epidural has good and bad benifets if they get too much it can make it hard for you to push when you need to because you do not feel the urge.

My advise is when your pushing don't be afraid to push it actually feels better when you do.

I had two natural labors. I can tell from your question that you are pretty freaked out, and that will make your pain worse. Try to relax as much as possible and read as much as you can about the birth process so that it becomes more natural and less scary. You will have to get through the first part of labor until they ok you for an epidural anyways so try to keep your stress & anxiety low so that the pain is more bearable until you get the epidural. I found that walking really helped my labor and a swaying side to side during contractions helped the pain. The pain for me was much worse laying down.

Good Luck!

They usually wait and make sure your labor isnt going to stop before they give you the epidural. With most labors, they wait until 1- your water has broke, or 2- when your 5 centimeters, and they brake your water bag, and you go into ful-blown labor.

Either way, if you have concerns about it, ask your health provider, they would be more likely to tell you when.

But- let me tell you from experience, yes they are wonderful at the time, but your body hurts for months on end from it. I have had it twice, and I wouldnt ever not get one while in labor, however, I wish they could find a way to get rid of the lower back pain you have for months, or the head-aches they are sometimes cause from them. Good Luck.. And Congrats

I would say that you should get it too soon because it could wear off by the time that you actually start to deliver....i would say between 3-4 cm get it.... When I had my daughter i had 2 epidurals and 20 months later i still have pains when getting a back rub or run my hand over it...heres a website of the epidural procedure to show you what goes on that you cannot see

don't be scared, giving birth is a totally natural thing and your body knows how to do it. i have 2 kids, the first one i went completely natural and it hurt but as soon as she was born the pain was over. it felt like REALLY bad intestinal cramps, like when you have eaten something that doesn't agree with you. the second time i wanted to go natural again, but i had to be induced because my water broke and they wanted the baby out within 24 hours, but i wasn't having any contractions. being induced hurt way worse than having natural labor, and i don't think the baby was quite ready to come out because he stopped moving down and i was stuck at 7 cm forever, so i got an epidural then because it was unbearable not knowing how much longer it was going to last. it is definitely easier with the epidural and not feeling anything, but i would not automatically recommend it. you should just let nature take its course. i'll bet you can be a lot stronger in that situation than you think if you want to be.