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I'm going through dealing with a lot of problems with my in laws, and I've been trying not to have really anything to do with them, but my husband and I are living in their basement at this moment because he lost his job. Anyways they're mad because he now has someone to take care of and love, and so he's not wanting to spend time with his family especially because of all of the choices they are making with his 6 sisters: letting them do whatever they want, and not having any rules for them since we got married and he's not living upstairs. Any time I go upstairs I don't feel welcome in this house because they give me dirty looks all the time, and they don't like the fact that my husband and I won't have anything to do with one of his sisters friends because his sister and her are both drunks (all they do during the week is drink until they can't drink anymore).

I've gotten to the point in the last few days to where I feel like it would be best for me to go away for a few days so I don't have to deal with the stress and the drama. I would love for us to be able to move out but we don't have the money. I don't want to leave my husband, but when his family makes everything out to be my fault that he doesn't spend time with them, and that he has changed etc... it really does start to get to you. My mother in law don't like anyone that her children get in a real relationship with and will talk **** right to their face saying that "I told you not to marry him" (my mother in law said this to her oldest daughter).

So yes some in laws will try to break up the relationship of their children if they feel like they are being taken from them, if they change because they're married etc. My best advice is after you get married DO NOT live with your parents or your in laws for any reason unless you would be on the streets otherwise. It's hard to even try to stop my in laws from interfering in our relationship since we're living under their ruff. I would never put my family before my spouse, and my husband has been doing whatever he can to try and get us out of this house and he even yelled at his own mother yesterday because of all the **** that has been going on with us. And I wish I knew what to do or how to deal with them, because my stress level is/has been going crazy.

Most marriages aren't ruined by in-laws. It's money or the lack thereof that causes the problems in marriages. Sure, some people say "leave and cleave" but it's not that simple. The saying "blood is thicker than water" exists for a reason, and if you tangle with anyone in the spouses family of origin, especially the son's mother or their kids, you're sure to lose.

Also ever consider the possibility that maybe it's NOT the in-laws, maybe it's really the jealous and possessive spouse who wants the husband or wife to have no one else but HER or HIM in their lives. I've seen emotionally abusive spouses isolate their partners from friends and families. That happens far more often than in-laws interfering.

Thing is, if someone knows their potential inlaws or the fiance's kids for that matter hate them, then why do they still marry the person anyway and invite misery into their lives? They should've thought about that BEFORE walking down the aisle. I have no sympathy for anyone who marries someone KNOWING that that person's family of origin hates them. There's plenty of fish in the sea, they should've went with someone who has a family they can get along with.

If in-laws ruin a marriage, it's because the people in the marriage allow it to happen. When you get married, THAT'S the new family that comes first. Wife or husband FIRST - everyone else is second. That's the way it should be, and the ones who let mommy and daddy influence them above their marriage are immature and not equipped with what it takes to sustain a marriage. Never in a million years would I let my extended family mess with my marriage - no way. Another common mistake that parents make is when they put the kids above their wife or husband. Mom and dad MUST have a strong marriage, and that means never EVER letting the kids come between them, and never EVER letting a kid disrespect a parent. Once that starts happening, it's near impossible to get respect back unless you demonstrate leadership, but most people are too permissive and afraid to take a stand for what's right and what's wrong to smack their errant kid across the mouth for calling mom or dad a bad name. There ARE times when a slap is warranted - hopefully you won't have to experience them.

This happens a lot, and no I would never allow my inlaws or parents to interfere unless they felt one of us were being harmed, and had a legitimate concern. I would only put my family before my spouse, if my spouse was behaving like a jackass for no reason. How you deal with hostile in laws is simple, YOU DONT! Its the obligation of the person whoes parents they are, to deal with them and to set the boundaries.

This is why you try to figure out who these people are long before you get married, that way you can make an informed decision based on how your boyfriend or girlfriend allows their parents to call the shots, and whether or not these people are toxic.

I'm in a mixed marriage (and child-free until last year) and my MIL is constantly involved with my family. It's appropriate to her culture. Those beautiful wedding vows we said were written in the west, not in China, so they don't cut a lot of ice with her.

She wasn't thrilled with her son's choice of wife. It took a long time to even be considered acceptable by her. But he was worth it. By her view, I married into the family -- that means I accept the culture, the religion, the whole package that comes with my guy. That includes letting her and the extended family come first a lot of the time. But I also have a young child to consider and must choose carefully when to be firm and put us first.

Somehow it works. I think it's more a matter of compromise, patience, and using good judgment than anything else. It also helps immensely to have a quiet place to go scream when the in-laws completely wreck your plans with sudden demands.

Hey, in-laws are the bane of most younger couples' existence.If parents want to HELP, they should wait until asked, unless there is a threat of violence, or drugs, etc. You get the point. I guess it depends on how true you are to each other. After all, did you take a vow to "forsake all others"? That means parents, too. Not that you don't want them in your life, but rather be there when you need them. I sure wish mine were still alive to tell them how much I loved them one more time! But if you have HOSTILE in-laws, maybe you should put a little distance between you. What they CAN'T see drives 'em nuts.

If you have people partnered together who both put their relationship above all other relationships, this isn't a problem.

If one or both refuse to do this, then it's nearly guaranteed the in-laws who want the relationship to fail will succeed.

It's something people may want to talk about before they actually commit seriously. Common sense is priceless ^5

How often do in-laws ruin marriages? Often. I don't think there are any actual stats on this because when the results went public it would probably start a war or something lol

In-laws actually help keep your marriage stable.

Its the feelings your woman still has for her 1st boyfriend that makes the marriage crumble.

Fact: Women never forget their first love and would go back to him if given the right chance.

In-laws suck.