Hi!!
I'm an average teenage girl, I do well in school and I have a perfect record.
However, recently I've been wanting a little more freedom.
I currently have a very strict "bedtime" which I often must break, which I honestly hate doing but I only ignore in order to study for a big test. One day I also wish to maybe go off campus with friends (no chaperones) or maybe go out with a nice guy... However, no matter whatever age I am, until i move out, my parents have made clear that they do not want me doing any of these things. They have tried to drill into my brain that if I ever wanted to do any of these things (especially ever liking a boy) I was susceptible to peer pressure, and if I actually ever did these things I would be headed down the path of a criminal or druggie. They won't even let me get a summer job, much less do volunteer work, which is required for highschool! They said "jobs and volunteer work are for people who cannot focus on their education - instead of doing 'menial' work they should be developing their skills for life." Is it normal for me to want to do these things? Whenever I imply that I want a little more freedom like this, they say that I will be headed down the path of a bad petson, which I must admit can be very hurtful (considering that my parents can think so low of me) if it is normal, how can I ever convince my parents to give me more freedom?
Thank you so much,
Carol
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
Parents will always try to do what's best for their kids. However, they sometimes forgot that they are being too harsh. My parents were strict just like yours and I did broke the rules back then :) No boys until after high school, bedtime by 9PM unless need time to study for tests. Those were my parents rules. They only allow me to work during the summer if I maintain above 3.5 GPA, which I did and they granted the me to work during the summer. I can't go to friends house to do group study, they have to meet at my house. Yup, those were my parents rules.
It is alright to go against your parents rules here and there as long as it does not lead you to do anything dumb. What I mean by dumb is doing things that your age does not allow, or doing things gainst the law.
Not sure you have a boyfriend or not (assuming you do without your parents knowing), but if you do and if sex do come to mind. Please be protected. Although, it is best not to have sex at all. You sound like a very smart girl, and don't let sex leads to a baby to ruin your future and career path. You are too young for baby right now.
If your parents does not allow you to do volunteer work as it is required by school in order for you to earn credits, please have the school counselor see them. Your parents definately need to have someone from school talk to them.
Don't you worry too much about working or looking for a summer job. Once you are done with school, you will be working until you are 65 years old. Once school is done, all you left with is work and it repeats everyday until you reach the retirement age. So don't worry about working.
with the bedtime thing as long as there not making you sleep really early it should be fine. Just try not to go to sleep late. but if you want it later try to tell them that as you get old you'll need less sleep and could use that time to study. With the job and volunteer work try to get your teacher to convince your parent. Other adults always convince my parents. Also getting a job will help you get experience on your records. I don't know what to say for the other things tho.
tell them if you dont get some freedom your gonna end up living a terrible lonely life because you miss out on social events. tell them you are growing up and can make decisions for yourself. PLUS they dont want you to get to college and experience a new world to get lost in because you are on your own for the first time with unlimited freedom... or just do what you want to do anyway and dont care about getting grounded. they'll hate you for that but you will make yourself better.
i dont think you will get them to understand. When you finish high school then going to college ... away from home... might be a good step for them and you. of course they are thinking about you for the best but it is too restrictive and not all that normal in my opinion...