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I watch porn, but i am lucky enough too have a wife who watches it with me, but don't get me wrong we only watch it occasionally not every night.

Just be honest and talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Communication is the key. More importantly please learn to love yourself. Don't expect others to love you when you don't love yourself. God has made all of us beautiful in our own way.

Marriage is a holy sacrament. I think he loves you and hence married you. He also found you capable enough to mother his babies. So, the real problem here is something else. He needs a friend, so who better than you? Find a nice time to sit and talk to him. Don't push him or accuse him of anything. You want him to talk not get defensive or rebellious. Be real easy on him and listen more than talk here. Patience is the key.

Try and get him involved with the children activity. Make him feel important and wanted. Something is missing in your marriage. Please find out what that is and everything will be perfectly fine. Don't give up. Just do all u can to bring back the happiness in both your lives. Leaving is not the answer.

All the best! Kiss the babies!

"We only have sex once a week and he wakes up early in the morning (knowing) Id love to have sex but hed rather get off to porn."

I have nothing against watching porn, but not if it gets so out of hand that it's affecting your regular sex life. He either has a porn addiction which is deadening his normal, natural male libido, or you have some underlying problems in your relationship which present an obstacle to sexual or emotional intimacy. You certainly shouldn't settle for this behaviour and just accept it as normal, because it's clearly making you unhappy. Perhaps you should look into marriage or porn addiction counselling.

what you are experiencing thousands of women are experiencing. the lack of sex, like once a week. one woman was having it once a month, one woman thrice a year.

various sexual presentations have mind manipulation involved in them. they are tricking your husband's mind. they are giving him a mental high which is mixed with sex, so he feels that he is getting a really fantastic sexual experience. he does not realize that he is being tricked. for details of exactly what they do to trick him, and how to have him return back to normal read the book i have mentioned after my answer.

the book reveals the mind manipulation techniques used, it shows how the mind works and how to free the mind from these cunning deceptions.

you must continue to tell others about the solution. because so many people are suffering from this , and it is ripping marriages and relationships apart, it even messes up potential relationships at their start and even before they begin. well anyway. take care. it is obviously not because you are ugly. he would not marry someone whom he doe snot find attractive. his mind is being fooled. i hope you read te book as well, so you clearly understand what is happening with him.

oh you sound so sweet :)

first, don't listen to the previous 3 post above me cause it's clear that they've exagerated the picture and don't know what they're talking about :)

then I'd also say that the most beautiful women are the expecting one's :)

of course we don't know your husband in detail so we'll just try to give a rough explanation for his behavior.

many married men watch porn ( almost all ), but your husband is fixated with a certain body type and likes to fantsize about it.

I must also admitte that it must be a hard blow for you when he does that in the morning etc.

I can understand your general attitutde towards life and yourself in this situation.

my suggestion is to always take good care of yourself and your looks. if you need some time alone in the shower, then take your time ( it will help you relax etc ). also try to smile and look sexy sometimes. I don't know what kind of relationship you have with him, but maybe u could make the first move...in bed.

or you could follow him when he goes watching and play a little ?

if all this positve attitude you give him doesn't work, then the last option would be to discusse the issue face to face. you have your needs as much as anyone does.

although I must say that it won't be easy to get him off of porn and unto the bed, yet it's not impossible. im sure everyman would love to see a woman in sexy garments in bed when they come home or wake up ;) I think the fact that you're also expecting makes you even more beautiful.

also try to have a good time together while eating or doing something outside etc.

try also talking with him about any new sexual fantasizes he might have and wish to reinact, or vice versa :)

I know a woman that would give her husband oral in the early morning while he was half asleep ;))

I really wish for the best for you :) you're not alone.

big kiss and hug

No, it's got nothing to do with his ex or any reflection on you. It's just a kind of lazy sexual addiction.

If you feel he hates you, it must be an unbearable situation. Why not talk truthfully with each other. Maybe it's time to break up or come closer.

Sex once a week seems pretty average to me unless you're newly together.

Hello Dear ~

Nine times out of ten, a guy watches porn just to 'blow of some steam' if you will. Their porn watching usually has nothing to do with their feelings for their wives, and it's not as bad of a behavior problem as most women think it is. I usually tell women that if theirr man wanted a woman who looked like his ex, he would have found and married one. He didn't because he loves YOU, and he wants YOU.

HOWEVER ...

What is more alarming to me is that he substitutes porn for sex with you. That is the first, biggest and most demoralizing sign that he has a problem, and he needs to get some professional help in order to get it out of his system.

He is making A CHOICE - which means fully aware conscious effort - every time he watches porn. It's not some lame addiction. He is 100% making a choice every time he sits in front of the computer, and he won't suffer withdrawals when he stops. He COULD stop if he wanted to, but right now he chooses not to.

It's time to put your foot down, and tell him that you are aware of his choices. Because of HIS CHOICE, you are making a choice of your own: The choice to not live this life, with this man, in this circumstance. It's NOT and ultimatum, honey, it's you telling him that you're done with being second to fake women on a computer, when he's got a real live woman waiting for him.

STOP WAITING.

On an evening when he expects his family to be there waiting for him when he gets home, just be gone. Pack bags for you and your children, and go home to your family (or take the kids somewhere fun on your own. When they ask why daddy isn't coming, tell them it's because he's working, and you wanted to give him the home to himself for the weekend ... or any other plausible excuse that will keep them peaceful about going away without daddy). Leave him a note that says something like this:

"Dear Husband and father,

The house is quiet and empty.

Your wife and children are gone, because we do not want the kind of marriage that's happening right now.

Your wife is DONE playing the game of having sex only once a week because you would rather enjoy yourself to fake women on the computer (who happen to look like YOUR EX.) Your wife did not sign up for this kind of marriage, and your hurtful behavior is A CHOICE that you make, with full conscious effort, every time you turn on the computer. You are making a choice, and because of that choice, we are making a choice of our own. We choose to not live this life, with this environment of cruel, hateful behavior. Your wife right now ... she feels like you hate her. Do you even know that?

We are gone, until you decide what is more important: fake women on the computer, or your wife and children. If you decide on your wife and children, it includes going see someone who can help you get past this hurtful and demoralizing CHOICE that you keep making. That is the price of admission back into this family: Get some help, or we are done.

You do not realize what it's doing to your wife, and she is hoping that by living in a quiet, empty home this weekend, you will become the man I thought I married, and be the father I know you can be.

You know how to find us.

Love,

Your wife and kids"

Woman to woman, you deserve better, and he really is clueless. Do this, and give him the wake up call of his life. One thing is for certain: NO woman should live your life, honey.

Take the bull by the horns, and do this. You can't live like this, and he needs to own up to what he's doing. Please be brave, be bold, and turn him into a man.

I wish you Godspeed.

Love,

Auntie

hmm, lm not sure but are you dealing with insecurities. you said "I know Im not attractive like those women", Im sure he loves the way you look. I would sagest therapy for both of you.

You need to try to get over the ex. Its seems he is over the ex but your not. Im not sure but most porn stars look alike. There is a certain look they all seem to have ( I watch it with my husband, so I know). Maybe your just seeing the same types of stars over and over. Masturbating is normally a quick fix, he may be doing it for a few reasons. If your constantly putting yourself down its hard for anyone to see to good inside of you. You seem nice so Im sure its not really a "nagging thing". I would just try to see the good in myself. Were some nicely fitted clothes. Hell I buy lingerie for myself sometimes. I feel good in it , so I wear it. Knowing your feel sexy makes you looks sexy.

Once you have gotten over that I think you should try acting it out. I used to think my husband wanted them instead of me until I actually watched it with him. Its so fun. You can play dress up or just act out what you see. Its spiced up our love life, maybe it will do the same for you two.

*believe me, his desire for porn has nothing to do with you. NOTHING.

porn is a visual sexual stimulant that immature people feel is their moral right to view. like any self-indulgent behavior, immature people insist that any negative fallout (hurt feelings, insecurity, jealousy) from their 'hobby' is entirely the failing of the person objecting to that 'hobby'. in this way, they justify their bad behavior to themselves and to you, and if they are lucky, manipulate you into blaming YOURSELF for their own horrible behaviors!

*his disrespect toward you, however, DOES have something to do with you.

~You teach people how to treat you.~ Dr. Phil

Good luck.

i would live seperatly till he gets help!!!!!!!!!!!!! i would not let my kids be around him !!!! he needs help porn is wrong and if he wants to see that trash he should be single, he doesnt deserve you. i pray he gets help and for you pray God ansewers prayers!!!!!!!!! he wont let you down. talk to a friend or pasters wife someone that can give you support its out there. God bless you while you get through this remember your not alone GOdis always there for you and i will be praying for you. and if you cant leave him for you do it for your kids . think if you stay your teaching them its ok and its not!!!!!!!! im not saying get divorce if you love him get help and he needs to get help to get out of the porn trash. ILLbe praying for you