you think by 19 i'd have this figured out. how the hell am i supposed to? I have never liked a guy before, only girls. I have been in love (yes IN LOVE, with two. INFATUATED with these girls). I haven't had sex with a girl yet though I really want to eventually. my gut is that I am straight, but sometimes i find guys bodies way better looking. i don't understand. i don't feel happy at all when I picture myself with a dude, my family wouldn't even care if i was gay, at all. its just I feel like i'd rather live alone than with another man. i miss the feelings i once had for this girl, didn't want her out of my arms. now it's like...i get too paranoid and don't even think i will fall for a girl again. i can't picture myself being the girl in a gay relationship, and i DEFINITELY can't picture myself dating "the girl" in a gay relationship. ive only liked girls since i was little. my brother came out when i was 13 and since then ive been soooo paranoid about being gay. he's liked boys since he was little, but i have not. i don't get it.
the father I want to be, the husband i want to be who holds his wife.......I feel like i'm losing it all, i feel like im going to end up being stuck in a gay relationship which is the complete opposite of what deep down i really want. what the hellll do i do. maybe im bi? i have no idea....i fantasize about chicks most of the time, and get sooooo completely down when i realize that i can also get off to guys if i really wanted to. im just saddened. when you are being "yourself" you should be happy. when i picture myself being gay, im not happy. it doesn't feel like me, i feel like i have lost my core
Update:i obsess about this, all day, every day. i constantly check to see which gender i am more turned on by. i have said many times to myself how i can't wait to su*k the life out of a (|) ..... not a d!ck! this could be that HOCD crap, i really don't know anymore.
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You are straighter than an arrow, more's the pity. To be gay, you have to be EMOTIONALLY attracted to guys, not just physically, which you're not, either. Almost all, if not ALL, guys at about your age ask those questions. They show up on this site ESPECIALLY during the school year. During the summer are more trolls. Your brother's coming out was no guarantee that you would, too.
How bout you try to come around the the idea that you're a straight guy that is occasionally turned on by dudes? Would that be easier for you? Because you sound, at least for the most part, very straight. I personally think what you want in a long term relationship is more telling than what you would like for a night or two. There's no need to think you can't actually have all this either. There are women that would actually love to date a guy that was into guys, just a little. It's possible to find a woman that you love and marry and breed with, and that you occasionally pick up guys with. Not all marriages are exclusive, and not all women would be opposed to sharing a boyfriend with her husband.
So just stop it, stop freaking out. You'll get an ulcer, just relax. Right now in your town there's some guy watching another guy bang his wife, and another guy taking it from a girl with a strap on, and another guy blowing a dude while his wife watches, and these guys aren't torn up inside. They're happy. Happy because they were brave enough to be honest about all the things they wanted, and dedicated to finding lovers that shared their passions, or would at least indulge them out of love and a sense of adventure. And those ladies are so happy they found a guy as freaky as they are.
What bothers me about your question is that you seem to be basing your entire self-worth on your sexuality, as if that's the deal-breaker that will determine everything. Your problem is one of focus.
Your sexuality is simply a minor character trait among many other traits. It's a part of you, yes, but only a small part really. The question you have to ask yourself is, are you satisfied with yourself as a whole person, or will you let that focus on a minor part of yourself ruin the whole picture for you?
For the record, I don't think you're gay (and this is coming from a gay guy here) - you're possibly bi-curious, and only possibly - but so what? Don't stress over things you can do nothing about. What matters is whether you're a good person overall.
You already know what's going to make you happy... so go BE happy.
If you don't actually want sex with one or more guys, which you don't, then you're not gay or bisexual. Finding guys' bodies way better looking, and even getting turned on by them, doesn't count if you don't want sex with the guys. Being constantly plagued by unwanted gay feelings and fantasies still wouldn't count, if you didn't want sex with the guys.
A lot of confusion, misery, and so-called paranoia can result from the idea that, although you don't want gay sex, you may have some secret gay or bisexual identity lurking within you against your will, and someday it may rise up and give you no real choice but to do its bidding. It isn't true, and "LGB" ideologues who promote the notion that it is true will have a lot of confusion, misery, and harm to account for. So stop obsessing (if possible) and recognize that, even if you were more turned on by guys 1,000 times a day, it still wouldn't mean you were gay if you didn't want sex with the guys. For best results, though, you really should try to discontinue the which-gender-turns-you-on more checks!
i'm gay, and that i won't stand female gay adult men. and it is not that i'm keen on go-dressing gay adult men, yet i do no longer hate them, that is only no longer my decision, - like how some at present adult men desire curvy women, and different possibilities and so on.. you're gay, you are able to't exchange that. And although chiché it truly is; there is somebody accessible for you, in all hazard with the comparable evaluations even, it isn't the 1st time i've got come throughout a homophobic gay. Oh, and basically for the checklist, i'm fascinated in adult men. that doesn't advise i opt to sleep with everybody stable finding guy I see. #StayClassy.
Research studies show that only about 3% of the population worldwide are actually homosexual (meaning they ONLY have sexual attraction for member of the same sex for their entire lifetime since discovering their sexuality). My point is this:
You say that you are attracted to girls and that you don't want to date men. So DON'T-problem solved! I know, if only it were that simple, right? Well, consider this: being "turned on" or having attractions to either the opposite OR the same sex doesn't make you a slave to your passions. ACTING on and DWELLING on your passions is what turns you into a slave. Many people choose abstinence before marriage for example. Some people choose abstinence for a lifetime. Some people choose to have sex with only their spouse (imagine that). Having same-sex attractions in no way makes you less able to live the life you choose.
Now, if your same-sex desires are particularly bothersome, you may want to see counseling or professional help. Although since 1986, homosexuality is no longer classified in any was as a mental disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders, it was removed for political reasons-not scientific reasons. In fact, science had nothing to do with that decision. My point is, help is available and many people have been successfully treated who found their same-sex attractions bothersome.
Please take a look at my "source" link to the National Association for Research and Therapy or Homosexuality.
I really hope this helps.
OK, let's get one thing straight. Homosexuals are same-sex relationships, so of course if you're a boy, it's going to be boy <3 boy. there's not gender stereotype relationship role that one has to be the girl. Sure, one may be more feminine but he could also be the more dominant one.
"Maybe i'm bi" that's a possibility but then again, you reject the thought of being with a male counterpart.
BUT!, have you thought of this?
When marketing underwear, jeans, t-shirts, who's wearing the clothing? Very Goodlooking men! why's this? because by letting you see how attractive they are you want to buy it.
it's ok to be interested in guys but don't get too paranoid, it's not like something you can control.
goodluck xx :)
Please know that you have a choice to explore your heterosexual feelings. Many boys/men have struggled with unwanted homosexual feelings. They have successfully looked to change... and many have! You too can change! Consider going to www.narth.com it is a non-religious psychological association that helps people understand their heterosexual self and some of the things that may be holding them back. They can help you get in contact with a psychologist in your city which is familiar with sexuality and feelings. You can then see what may be holding you back. Are you afraid of women? Did you have a strong, aggressive mother and an absent father? These are some of the family experiences that homosexual boys have gone through. Please know you can change and you can make your life whatever you'd like!!! You are young and can choose your path!!!
You are not necessarily gay or bi . You could see a counselor to help get an answer for yourself
bi curious