Hi,
My name is Kezia.
I'm the person who has to stand out to fit in. I'm the one that does weird things just so people notice me. I'm the girl that has one true friend that will stick beside me no matter what, but a world full of haters. I'm the girl that seems to just brush off the insults but is dying inside. I'm the one who doesn't even know who I am anymore, with all the posing, trying to be someone new. I'm the person who can only express myself with colors - grey, deep blue, bronze.
I can't write my own songs but I can sing other people's. I just want to know that there is someone like me out in the world. I feel like crying all the time, even when people say they like me I know that when people are mean, they don't know me. The thing that would make me feel better is a song. A song about someone like me. Because I want to know that people like me exist but I also want to show everyone that I'm not a talentless loser. If there is ever a song like that, no matter who it's by, I'll put all of my heart and soul into it.
Answers & Comments
You might be surprised to know that actually, EVERYONE feels just like you do. Lost, lonely... Especially at a certain stage during adolescence, and especially no one knows who they are. People might seem just normal and perfect to you but what's deep in their minds and souls are known only to them. I'm sure that you night look pretty normal yourself to people, just like they do to you, while the truth remains that NO ONE IS NORMAL. I love singing too, and I learned to write my own songs not too recently, it helps me express my own feelings better than other people's song.
Songs by Paramore (earlier-than-2013-ones) might catch your attention. And some By the Pretty Reckless like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNY9aCIHeR4
Peace! You're not alone.
I'm sorry for what I'm about to say; get over yourself. You're the girl who's just like everyone else. You're the girl who'll fall for Cold Reading.
I'm afraid that the people who really are different, and really have few out there like them, are the people who realllllllly don't care, who reallllllly just do what they want, when they want and because they want. And that is neither you, nor I.
I'm going to describe myself like how you described yourself:
I'm the girl who's weird, because when she trully finds a friend she just lets go. I'm the girl who never smiles or laughs, unless she's with her friends. I'm the girl who's too self-concious to tie my hair back. I'm the girl who isn't scared of Death, but is too lazy to kill herself. I'm the one who expresses herself through colour, because everyone else sees the false pretences and masks of my "sadness" when in reality, I don't give a f*ck and am contented. I'm the girl who wears clothes that the majority don't think reflect myself--reds, greens, creams and greys. I'm the girl who overthinks. I'm the girl who really cares about everything I write, about every piece of art I do and about every single thing that happens if without logic. I'm the one with OCD. I'm the one with Social Awkwardness. I'm the one with Social Anxiety. I'm the one who runs away in her mind. I'm the one who goes with the motion, who falls back whenever I close my eyes, who wants to express emotion and love and sadness and life and Death but can't, for the box she put herself into. I'm the one who cares about art, who can stand there for hours on end staring at a single piece of artwork by a little-known artist that few have heard of let alone like because of the life. The life reflected in the piece. I'm the girl with a heavy heart, who wants to cry but can't for weakness and anger. I'm the girl that has just sat and thought,, trully thought,, about who she is and whose life she leads and yet is still non the wiser. I'm the A* student. I'm the one people run to when they need help in class. I'm the one most people avoid. I'm the one who just screams to release a little of the emotion in her life. I'm the girl who tries to show people, that they're not different or unique or special in any way other than the norm. To show people that however hard you try there's always going to be someone out there like you,, with the same fears or hopes or dreams or even loves. I'm the one, who tries to show everyone and anyone that people don't really care; when they make fun of you or look at you, noone trully cares. Rarely do they care. And that. That is what you should cherish--what everyone cherishes, but are either too blind or too scared to see or explain.