I am realizing more and more everyday that I do not have a friend to confide in anymore. I'm a college student. My roommate from last year dissed me the whole year for her bf (we had been friends for 5 years before she met him). I do not talk to her anymore because I do not like her bf. I seem to still be friends with people I knew in high school. I dont want that anymore. The guys that I know, I am sick of. Ever since we graduated high school, they have been trying to get me to shed my "good girl" reputation. I refuse to give into peer pressure but they never stop. They make me feel like scum because I choose to do the things that they dont. I dont like who I am friends with anymore. I feel like I dont have anyone now. I do not make friends easily because I do not trust people and I am very shy and would rather not be noticed. I want everything to change. Any suggestions?
Copyright © 2024 Q2A.MX - All rights reserved.
Answers & Comments
Verified answer
you just go on being yourself and ignore them focus on your goals in life and everything will fall in place later
That reminds me of that film, ah, what's it called.. Pay It Forward! Very touching. Anyway, working with organisations is of course wonderful, but, just think about the people who don't have those things? Do you know the sheer amount of homeless people there are? Or old people with absolutely no one, NO ONE. Can you imagine how awful that must be? I would delve into something like that because those things pain me so so much. I don't exactly know how you would find these people [I will do some Googling, but I don't know where you live], but I don't know, even helping a homeless person get back on their feet at all? I'll have a think about this and edit if/when I come up with something. Anyway, have I ever changed a life? I'd love to say I have, but, I don't think so, at least not to my recollection. I don't think donating money counts. I did volunteer for a while at a homeless shelter though. My plans for the future however are different. Has my life been changed? Eh, yes I suppose, for the worse though. But I'm not going to write a sob story, I have no right to do so with all of the people who are suffering much more than I am. So, just take it as a yes. XD
I know exactly where you are coming from. I am that shy girl with the friends that dis you. I do not trust hardly anyone cause you never know what they are up to. I learned that the hard way. I am now in my late twenties and have realized that it isn't always about what friends you have and what other people think of you. I just try to focus on me and my career and goals in life and make the best that I can of it. I know it gets hard at times but in the end you will be glad you did.
Can you transfer? Don't change who you are. Just because you are good girl, doesn't mean you can't be friends with some people who have different personalities than you. Find some people who are studying the same field as you and go to study with them. Maybe you will make some new friends and have some fun. Stay a good person though. It will work out for you in the end.
As for your morals and lifestyle, you are entitled to them and need not change them. But if it is friends you want then you need to get rid of the shyness and make some. A very good friend of mine once said he could be friends with anyone but still dislike the human flaws in that person. If He knows someone is always lying he stays friends but doesn't accept anything said as true and doesn't repeat it. In other words if you are looking for someone who agrees with everything you do and has the exact same values, you will never find them, so lower your standards in what you expect in a friend and maintain them in what you expect of yourself.
Hey you have values good for you keep them you will find people who like you for who you are. You are in college now you can meet people who share your same beliefs and will be a true friend it is possible you just have to look in the right places. Also open yourself up a little don't be so shy or don't let it show and most important be a friend
Move on. Find new things to do. Find things you like to do and join clubs.
And keep the good girl reputation in the long run that will serve you better than the bad girl rept.
Find another shcool depending on your year.
Take an art class, if not already and focus on something else.
Good luck. I k now just how you feel.
It is not wrong to have ethics and boundaries, but when those things get in the way of you LIVING your life they become a problem. You don't have to go wild and rebel, but you might try loosening up a bit. Go to a party - you don't have to drink, but don't just stand/sit there. Take a risk and start conversations. When you are older, you will regret the things you didn't do. As to your friends - take their advise, but on your own terms. You dont want to just give up history with them without trying to hold on.
College is not about friends, clubbing, sex and getting drunk. Get your undergraduate degree, then go for a masters and a PhD. Once you are a college professor and making lots of money, then you can have friends. I guarantee that people who are mature adults that you will meet in the future will make better friends than people you met in high school.
I think you are just going to have to avoid your old friends and try to make some friends that seem to be more on your level. Which hopefully you could feel more comfortable speaking to people and making friends with them if they seem to be more like you. Sometimes when I feel alone and like I have grown out of my old friends I speak to my family alot because they know me best. Good luck to ya
Why do you have to try and fit in?
Be yourself. Dont drop your morals....
You DONT want everything to change becasue when you look back on this 10 years down the road, your gonna see mistakes if you change