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I fit in decently well for the most part in high school and college. There were always people that I hated and people that didn't like me back, but I always had at least one group of friends that I hung out with. However, people treated me like I was an invisible speck when I was in 7th grade. And no, teachers didn't help. I had trouble finding a place to sit in the cafeteria. There was a group of 6 girls I'd often sit with, until the teachers made an asinine rule that there'd be no more than 6 people per table. Of course I was the weakest link, so I was left to eat alone. Teachers saw this, and didn't even try to motivate other kids to invite me to their partially filled tables. I would spend most lunches in the computer room. One day, a teacher saw me going to the computer room and tried to "write me up" for "cutting lunch," making a big deal of it as if I was this bad-*** trying to escape a history exam to smoke or something. I was a good kid too, never had detention before! He was the only teacher that had a problem with me going to the computer room(where else would I sit?). Later he agreed to let me go there if I asked him for permission ahead of time. One day when I asked him, he mocked me saying "Ohhhhh the liiiiibrary! You always go to the liiiibrary!" Looking back, I realize that the teachers were probably worse than the students. They didn't care if I sat alone, and it was a small tight-knit school too. They would pace around our school's tiny cafeteria and stare at each of us, and never thought to help me out. Only words they said to me were "you're cutting class by going to the library during lunch!" or a wide-eyed "OMG!! Are you doing MY class's homework at lunch?!"(what else was I supposed to do if I had no friends to talk to?)

I have always been an outsider and I've always been proud of it.

I never felt like there was a need to embrace any culture for which I felt no empathy.

Many of us seek comfort in others.

I only seek comfort in the space between the stars.