Verified answer

I have 4 kids in school, and we get bombarded with these stupid things. We do not participate. My children are not salespeople, and putting friends and neighbors on the spot to buy stuff is rude. I will usually look in the brochure myself, and if there's anything I want, I'll buy it. I keep in mind things that could be gifts for friends or family. Generally, though, there's nothing I want. I simply explain to my kids about soliciting, and that it is not usually welcome.

I think it's horrid the kind of pressure that kids feel to win the prize that the schools push. Pisses me off.

Generally, what I will do when approached by someone's kid or by the parent is look at the brochure. You never know. there may be something in there that catches my eye. Usually, there isn't, and I simply tell the child that I don't see anything that I care to buy, but thanks for showing me the brochure.

If it is a continuous problem from the same people, I would talk to the parents, and simply tell them that you don't usually care for the products that are sold for these things.

I'd tell them what type of products I -would- be willing to look at a brochure for (if there is anything), but that I generally prefer bake sales, book sales, car washes, etc, and if there are any of those going on to please let me know.

I have 3 kids and have has as many as 6 living here, all in school at the same time. Can you imagine the utter inundation my poor neighbors would be victims of if I allowed the unfettered solicitation of them for the purposes of school fundraisers?

I made a decision when my oldest child was very young. Almost across the board, I throw the stuff away as soon as it comes home. Everything from gift wrapping catalogs to jump rope for heart sponsorships - it goes. Fundraisers that I feel are specifically important and relevant to my child's education, I GIVE. But I never solicit friends or family.

I'll volunteer at bake sales and school carnivals and car washes and rummage sales and whatever other fundraisers don't involve the guilt of my friends and neighbors.

You, as the ambushed friend, may have to stand up for yourself and ask the parent of the kid not to solicit you further. I know that may be uncomfortable. If it helps you to ease the tension, one suggestion for you is to offer the parents $10 or $20 a year to spend on your behalf for whatever fundraiser(s) they deem most important - not an unreasonable donation to your local school and it certainly puts out the message that you don't want to be bothered with every stupid candy bar sale that comes down the pike.

Don't let the guilt rule you. Talk to the parent and tell them your policy is not to buy from fundraisers unless it is a bake sale or something, and then only by your choice. If the parent still sends the child just smile and say "No Thank You".

Stop feeling guilty!

As a mom of 5, I didn't let my kids participate in fundraisers except for my daughter in band. Those, I just left at work and let people decide if they wanted to buy, I even left a note--no obligation.

I won't buy something I don't need or want simply because a child wants me to. I support fund-raising but there are better ways to do it. I agree about not liking to be ambushed. It puts a person on the spot and almost forces them to buy whatever the child is selling. If only they knew how many of those items end up in the garbage...it's a waste.

I just say no, I don't want to hurt the child's feelings but kids need to be studying or playing...not be acting salespeople when they are so young.

EMT

I have grandchildren in the same school and I buy from them. I don't like these fund raisers because I feel they are taking advantage of the fact that most grandparents and parents find it hard to say "no" even if they can't afford it. I would rather give a small donation directly to the school, but they tie these fund raisers in with prizes to the kids who sell the most and of course my grandkids want to win a prize. I also resent the fact that since I cannot afford to buy from the other children I am forced to disappoint them when they come to my door.

That's always a crappy spot to be put in. I usually say something along the lines of, "Sorry, not this time," then give a big smile. Or, "Oh, I just bought some, but thank you!"

I hate having to lie to kids, but I do it for the parent's sake. I think kids need to learn how to take mild forms of rejection at that age, but the parents never take it well, and it's awkward.

there is no need to feel guilty. if its not something you want. say I dont really like those but if you ever get some (insert fave food here) let me know i might be able to take some off your hands.

of course there is always the good cause angle. are you so against helping you that you cant spare a couple bucks to send a kid to camp?

to all that come after you just say sorry one of your pals beat you to it..

I refuse all the time, I have never done one yet because I feel the same way you do and I refuse to be held hostage to school greed, if they want money that badly then have a bake sale or a car wash. I simply tell them I have no cash.

My niece does this for her hockey fundraiser every year...I buy a couple of chocolate bars, it`s hard to pay for kids sports. I always support kids. Don`t be miserable.If it`s something small, ( which it usually is), then give a little.

If you have children, you would understand this. I buy all the time because a) It's for a good cause and b) the kids love it.