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He learned that behavior from somewhere. It could have been you and you just don't realize you do it. Look at his friends the rest of the family and find out where he could learn that those comments are ok. Racism is a learned trait. Honestly he needs to get in trouble everytime he makes one of those comments. Don't let them pass and say nothing. Tell him off for making a stupid ignorant comments. Don't just let it go. Ground him lecture him keep him away from friends who are doing the same thing.

It's probably a behaviour he learned from his friends. I can understand you being scared if you live in a big city with a lot of different ethnicity groups, but let's just hope he can at least know when it's not okay to say it! (although, is it ever??) My husband tends to crack a lot of racist jokes himself, sometimes they are pretty funny and you can't help buy laugh. Talking to a 13 year old boy about it maybe offending someone is useless, he more than likely already knows that. Personally, I don't think there's anything wrong with grounding a kid or making him read a book about the subject. At 13, he won't learn by compromise, he'll learn by discipline. :) Hope you find a healthy way for your kid, no one knows better than mom and dad

I absolutely understand your concerns. People can say it's okay since it was just you in the car, but it's not. Chose a time when it's just the two of you (in the car is fine) and ask him how he'd feel if there were people making fun of him and his family because they shop at WalMart or go to a certain clinic for their medical care, or even people who have red hair or live in a certain neighborhood. (Just choose something that's appropriate to your family) Tell him that you thought you'd raised him to be a smart, insightful son but him talking about blacks that way makes you think you've failed. Yes, it's the old guilt trip ... it works!

All of the above will probably only suceed in assuring that he won't make cracks like that in front of you. But it's possible it'll make him think twice about saying stuff like that around anyone.

Also, make sure there's no one you know (an adult) who has an attitude about black people. If you discover that give him the same talk! Mothers have true power in situations like that.

Why do you fear he wont live much longer because of it?

I'm sure he's just joking, My boyfriend makes black jokes a lot and he's not racist at all !

Our daughter's god parents are both black (His best friend of 14 years and my best friend of 10)

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about!

Maybe just ask him if he's serious and if he's really hating on black people, and then talk it out with him. Tell him it's rude, and i'm sure he wouldn't like it if people were saying these types of things about him.

Smack him. Don't be afraid that you won't be his best friend. Every time he does something similar, tell him that if no one else will beat him up for it, you would (don't actually beat him of course). Explain why this is messed up for him to say, and how you haven't taught him that way, so why on earth would he say such things in front of you, let alone with his friends. You're his parent, you have a right to this. If the jokes persist and they really bother you that much, give him extra chores or ground him and follow through. I'm not sure what you believe grounding is, but you find out his favorite thing, and you take that from him. If he likes his phone, take that, if he likes to hang out with his friends, take that. But do not take away things unimportant, it will only leave him feeling smug.

Look if you are the parent of a 14yr old & still have to ask how to parent him then you have a lot more problems than you are aware of.

As parents we are suppose to learn how raise our child as our child grows. Even before your child was born you & your husband should have sat down and discussed your family values & how you wanted to raise your child. If you haven't sit down now.

Common sense should say speak to the father or another trusting family member. Not strangers online.

A parent who doubt their own parenting skills clearly has low self esteem and self doubt. Your child will see this and pretty run the house & you.

Family therapy & personal therapy will help

Tired of this answer being posted over & over again? I'm tired of seeing dumb parenting questions posted in the Adolescent section. I seriously doubt any parent would be so desperate they would create a brand new account just to ask strangers how to parent their child.

I also doubt a parent would take the time to give details about a childs embarrassing behavior to strangers. I can't think of one parent I know personally who would get online and tell strangers how they find girl panties in a sons room.

Source - these are troll questions who post the same questions over & over result- getting the same answer posted over & over

I am also 14. I also do that stuff and you probably won't be able to do anything about it because we are teenage boys. Just make sure he doesn't say it around the wrong people. Depending on how well he listens to you will change his mind. Stay strict and firm. But also learn to joke around some.

Tell him the truth about what will happen if he keeps making those types of jokes. Tell him that everyone is the same- even if our skin is a little lighter or darker than someone else's. And tell him that its unfair, that he wouldn't want someone to make those jokes about him. Heck, I'm a teen myself, and my parents have already taught me that.

I suppose thats normal for teens. Hope I helped! :)

Lol because of a black joke ? It's harmless he's saying it to you. But just in case you really are concerned talk to him and explain to him that what he might consider harmless jokes may be offensive to others.

Force him to watch 4 hours of Maury Show paternity tests.