I'm just curious to know as I'm sure there are a variety of answers. I have an almost 18 month old and another on the way. As far as our church family goes, there are a TON of young parents like us, but the couples we know the best don't have kids yet. I find that we are often saying no to invitations from our friends because it would be a late dinner situation and our son NEEDS to be in bed around his 8pm bedtime. Now, we do have people over OUR house where we can just put our son to bed and play cards or something after, but we just hate messing up our schedule (what will we do when THEY have kids?). It's the same with naptime (he only sleeps in his bed in his room), or mealtimes... food we bring along for a day out but it generally involves a cooler and a booster chair, bib, accessories, etc, so for the little things we just say, "Can we do this another time?" (like, in 20 years when we're done having kids?)
I know for familes with both older and younger kids you are likely to give me the answer that, "the youngest are just used to being flexible." Yet I've also heard of families who gave that answer til they have yet another baby who just doesn't agree that flexible is good.
The thing is, for us, we don't mind it. We aren't super social to begin with and we love hanging out at home (we'd much rather get take-out and rent a movie than go to a restaurant and a theater), but our friends are the opposite (it's been a whole week!), and so the amount of time we actually do see them works out to our liking. What are other families like in this regard?
Update:To alicialions and those who feel the same: I've gotten that answer a LOT. I'd say especially from my sister who had her first two kids before I had mine. Then she had her third child and has had to eat her words. Newborns and older children aside, some children just DO NOT SLEEP unless in their bed with their fan going, etc. When my sis-in-law got married, my son was still used to 2 naps a day and got NONE (we tried) even after not getting much sleep the night before at Grandma's. He finally fell asleep at like 10pm only to wake up 10 minutes later... that sort of thing is the norm for whenever we are away from home. It's not for lack of trying. We just say yes to the important (family) occasions and say, "a different time" for our friends who just want to hang out.
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I try to please my friends and my son at the same time. I usually tell my friends no to late night dinners or get togethers so that my son can get to bed at his usual time. I, however, do suggest that they come over later during the night for a little dominoes or what have you. As long as there is no drinking or no outside activities because I will not leave a sleeping child inside alone for any reason.
I also put off stuff that people want to do on the weekends, because I like spending the weekends with just my family. On Sundays, we go to church and visit with friends, but after that its our time to spend outside with our son or on those rainy days inside watching a few cartoons and popcorn. We just consider that our time.
We get a lot of invites for our son to come over and play with their kids while the adults just hang out but I'm a stickler for having Mason in at a certain time and ready for bed and I don't like to get away from that. If we were to leave and go to a friends house at 6pm there's no way that I would be able to tare him away from that friend and be home to make sure he had a bath and is ready for bed. There is just no way.
I will entertain guests at my house during a decent time of the day hours. Not night hours. I will also rush my friends and their children out of the house if I see that the time is approaching where my little one is to be in bed. I don't like limiting his friends, but the adults in the situation just don't know when to go home. LOL
I do things according to my child. I won't plan a date night. I won't plan an over night stay away from home. I won't have my son up past bedtime. . . and my friends are inviting us to a lot of pool parties with other children present that I just will not go to because of two reasons: there is alcohol involved (which my son won't be around) and they want to have it during the hottest sunniest part of the day which will burn my son, even with LAYERS of sunscreen on. I just tell them no and we do something at home.
Call me a home body but I would rather have my son protected, in bed on time and ready to start the next day then be lagging around someone's house, drunk and not knowing if my son is okay or not or showing no regard for his next full day ahead. Its no longer about what I want. . . its about what is good for my son!
I have a 4 month old daughter and I get a lot of free time because she's so independent. Sometimes we get frustrated when we'd like to do something and we have a little baby so we have to just sit home. I don't mind sitting home it's just we're so young still (im 20, he's 19). We had to give up most of our friends because they'd always ask us to go some where and we'd have to say no because it was either our baby's naptime soon or feeding time soon. I guess it all depends on how your lifestyle is.
you in basic terms could grow to be happy with the thought no longer each and everything gets executed consistently. i'm a unmarried mom with a 7 365 days old, an entire time interest, and a 40 5 minutes each and every way holiday. My horses are at domicile, and my driving has been form of sporadic throughout the final 7 years (which incorporates the two.5 years my workaholic husband lived with us). because of the fact that i don't get as lots time with my son as i could like, i've got faith too to blame approximately having him babysat in order that i will holiday. Now that he's a sprint older, he's discovering to holiday himself, so it quite is something we are able to do mutually. I additionally get some shorter rides in whilst I flow away him interior the domicile to observe television or play video games or legos. i'm merely exterior and he can come get me if he needs me. otherwise, my house is somewhat messy, the grass gets a sprint long till now mowing, and issues are extra to my "to do" record quicker than they're worked off. all of it works out, a technique or the different.
Do what works for you. Of course you need to take care of your child's needs- food sleep comfort etc, but this can fit in around your life to an extent. The odd late night wont hurt. you can pack up food and snack without having to pack the chair etc. If we're out late I'll take some pj's and a toothbrush for the kids- they fall asleep in the car on the way home and I just scoop them into bed. But if you like a routine and find that that is what works best for you then stick to it.
No, having kids does not mean your life ends a little flexability goes a long way. For example, if you want to go to friends houses on a weekend night and you are going to stay till midnight or something, you have a couple options...babysitter or take your child and when they are tired lay them down on the couch or a free bed in a nearby room. It's no big deal, children are resiliant...its only over protective, worrisome parents that make them otherwise.
We do a lot around our children. If we go to someone's house for a later event we always still leave pretty early and usually tell them we will be leaving at this time (we now don't even tell anyone they always know what time we will leave by). For something just like hanging out with someone we will only do it if it works around our schedule (which is the kids schedule) but for special events we will go out of our way to make sure we can attend them. Sometimes its not always good making special arrangements just to do something but every once in awhile wont hurt a child.
I am a father, not a mother, but I can assure you we schedule everything around our daughter. She is 13 months old and her bedtime is 7pm. We put her first at all times. We won't take her anywhere unless she has already napped and, if necessary, fed first.
Your friends will be the same once they have kids so I wouldn't sweat it. Find more couples with children and plan family events at your home or their's, that's what we do.
As much as humanly possible and my guys aren't young kids anymore but at the pre-teen/teen years. While the kids are in school I scheduled my lessons during the day so that I can still get them to their practices in the evenings. During the summer, I am now taking online courses to accommodate them as much as possible.
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