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Confront her first. Bullies dont expect a confrontation. If her father died 3 years ago then she must have wracked her brain trying to come up with something to b*tch about. Make her feel like a fool. Dont defend your wife as she has done nothing to be defended over just tell that idiot to mind her own business. Then tell her husband he better get some balls or he is going to find himself alone in the world with no one but his nutcase wife to look at and listen to. And say it in front of her so he is embarrassed. Confront them together and do not back down.

Wow!!! I'd talk to him but I wouldn't say that (I'd think it but I wouln't say it) Let him know the "family" misses seeing him around the holidays and would love if he'd come around more oftern.

As for his wife...there really not much you can do without casuing more friction within the family. When she "attacts" your wife for being a working MOM tell her that your wife has 2 jobs one taking care of the family which she finds more rewarding and the second which is fullfilling in a different way and since money don't grow on trees that shes just trying to help provide for her family the best way she know how.

He married her because she's like that. He wanted a woman who would wear the pants in the family, and that's what he's got, as you already know. He doesn't have the ba**s and doesn't want them.

You can talk to him, but it's a forgone conclusion that she'll just continue to cause problems, be an outcase in the family and she won't let him go to family functions without her. Your only hope is that she leaves him.

She can cause real problems for your family, though, so I would really stay away from her. Don't invite them to your house. If she's really got an ax to grind, she could end up calling CPS on you for on reason or another and then there would be major problems!!!

There are some women who LOVE drama, they actually get addicted to it. I think that is what you have here. She most likely needs therapy and medication. You need to decide to put your family first and if she doesn't come to functions it is HER problem not yours. I understand that you want your brother around. You should have a private discussion with your brother. He must NOT tell his wife of the discussion. What so many men in his position don't realize is that if they are firm and really put their foot down their wife will have no choice but to change. You teach people how to treat you, and he has taught his wife that she can control him. It doesn't have to stay that way though. I am a very strong wife that likes to have her way (no drama though, I hate drama) But if my husband gets firm with me I back down. This will only work if he's willing to comit to doing it.

What is the point of confronting him? He knows his wife better then you think. Let's face it, there all grown up's here who can make there own decisions. Your sister in law doesn't like your wife and will not come over. Hurray, for you. You no longer have to hear her bologna. Her husband is missing time with his family, when he has enough of her drama he will come around and see you all.

You will only make matters worse if you say anything to him as he will only side with her and then she will have another excuess. I find it best to stay away from drama.

You and your wife need to establish some boundaries with respect to your sister in law, and then if she oversteps them you need to be firm with her and let her know that it's not okay with you for her to be commenting on your family's decisions. If she still continues, then you need to distance yourselves from her until she can act in a manner that doesn't offend you.

As for your brother in la, well, it's his wife, his life. If he married a self centered woman, that was his choice and even if you can't stand her you have to accept his choice. Maybe they have their own thing to do on the holidays, and that's their choice to make. He's married, so he's not going to be around as much as he was when he was single. Don't make the mistake of blaming your brother in law's wife for these changes, they are natural changes and are just a part of being married.

Well first off, do what you think you can do without having regrets later. I would recommend staying out of it. If you get involved then it could just make matters worse. I would encourage your wife to stand up for herself, in a dignified, unemotional way. It would probably be best if your wife talked to her brother about it. If he lets it be, then your family will need to move on. He cares far more for his marriage with her than with his relationship with his sister.

honestly, this is not your fight. All you are going to do is cause more conflict. Your brother chose this woman for his wife, he has to deal with the consequences. If he wont man up and come to family events, thats his loss. However, she is his family now, and his first priority.

Just let him follow his own path. The more you press it, the more problems it will cause.

If you do that then you will only cause a bigger rift in your family. Clearly she does not give a S***. You guys just have to ignore them because it is their loss and you will see that your brother will come around and grow some balls on his own.

Lets hope..

I'd confront him. I would HATE having someone like her in my family. A lot of people ahve them nowadays, though. I'm sure she's jealous of your wife, too. I don't know how people can just sit around all day (housewives), and just do little chores around the house and take kids to school...

Confront your brother-in-law!