my 11 year old son has multiple gastrointestinal problems and cannot eat certain foods so a lot of nights I cook him something different than what I cook for everyone else (we have designated areas in the refrigerator and cupboards that are "Hayden friendly food" and it is a general rule that those items are strictly for him). Well tonight we got home late so I opted for a quick pot of spaghetti. Which both my 9 year old daughter and 9 year old son like and have often asked for in the past. However tonight my youngest son threw a fit saying he doesn't like spaghetti and refused to eat it. I fixed him a plate and put it on the table the food went untouched so I put it away and fixed a Turkey sandwich and carrot sticks. He then refused that and said he would eat the spaghetti.... by this time I was so aggravated that I sent him to bed without dinner. I want him to understand that he can't always get his way and that his older brother is only treated differently because of medical conditions. But sometimed i feel like im being mean and unfair. Opinions or advice on how to handle this?
Update:Thank both of you....you guys are right I shouldn't have made him the sandwich but I Just don't like him to not eat..... and No pizza for the oldest....he has early onset Crohns, celiac, H Pylori, hiatal hernia and severe acid reflux.... dinner for him isn't fun at all and lacks variety but he gets the essentials... usually a baked lean meat and steamed nonstarchy veggies
Answers & Comments
No, I don't think you are being un fair. I'm not a mom, but I am celiac so I know what it's like having to eat something different than everyone else. It can't be that fun for your oldest son either, not being able to eat what everyone else has. Honestly, I wouldn't have even made my son a turkey sandwich. my parents always said that you eat what they made or you don't eat at all. You already have to cook a separate meal for your one son. Why should you be making even more, just because one kid decides he doesn't want the food! My suggestion would be to sit him down and explain, or have your son explain it to him. Have him tell him how he feels, how he gets sick and how he feels about having to eat different foods. It might be easier for him to understand it coming from his brother.
You could choose a day, maybe a Friday or something and have a pizza night, or something similar if your older son can't have it. Lay out all the toppings, have each kid pick what they want on it and help make it. That way they all get to have something different and no one feels left out. Or each week you could let a different child pick a meal. lunch, supper, even a snack. This way each child can be happy. And no one really feels left out. This might be terrible advice! I've been up for the past few nights and tend to ramble, but I hope you understand what I mean, and I helped a litte!
The rule in my house is you eat what I make.I would not have made him the second plate of food.That is teaching him its okay to be a picky brat.Sorry but Im giving my opinion.
You aren't being unfair at all.If you have a child with different dietary needs ,then you are just doing your job as a great mother making sure needs are met.You obviously want to keep everyone happy or you wouldn't have offered the second plate.I would continue to do what you're doing but dont tolerate certain behaviors .
You make him go hungry. He'll eat the next day, I promise!
no