Which sentence 'SOUNDS BETTER'...? SENTENCE 1 or 2..?
Hi. I am thinking of including either sentence 1 or 2 in a law personal statement. Can someone suggest which sentence sounds better? Thanks
***SENTENCE 1
"While working towards my LLB degree at the University of Leicester, I learned relevant legal reasoning skills that have helped me to solve many legal problems."
or
***SENTENCE 2
"While working towards my LLB degree at the University of Leicester, I learned relevant legal reasoning skills that have improved my ability to solve many legal problems."
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2. With the addition of "have improved my ability," I'd drop "many"
"While working towards my LLB degree at the University of Leicester, I learned relevant legal reasoning skills that have improved my ability to solve legal problems."
They both could work except sentence 1 seems more concise. So I would go with that one. But I would rephrase the sentence by replacing the word "that" with the word "which"
"While working towards my LLB degree at the University of Leicester, I learned relevant legal reasoning skills which have helped me to solve many legal problems."
I think number two sounds more professional.
edit: Because it's not just that they "helped you" to solve legal problems. That sounds like it only happened one time. Rather, it "helped you" (past tense) and now you are able to solve more legal problems. I hope that makes sense.
2.
At you simply solved of many legal problems - BS!
I'd go for the second one, though you might want to change while for whilst and instead of dropping many you could replace it with diverse or many diverse or several diverse.
two. it is more professional sounding, as others have said.